The sky had come crashing down

NEW JOURNAL!

I got sick of this one. I've added pretty much all of my friends from here, so add me back or I'll cry.

ADD malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur malindabur

Now i have to go add all of my communities. It's gunna take foreverrrrr.

I didn't do jack shit today.
I've been getting all these messages on myspace from guys telling me I'm hot. It's pretty much the weirdest fucking thing ever, and I've since decided that I really hate that site now. (Did I mention one of these guys was like 35. Ew.)
It's so fucking weird when people tell me I'm gorgeous or whatever. It totally weirds me out. Are these people blind and mentally incapacitated? I'm not aesthetically pleasing at all.
Hell, the only real boyfriend I've ever had is eternally disheveled, never combs his hair and often talks to himself. Most likely while making smoothies.
If I'm so gorgeous why the hell can't I find me a man?
This all confuses me.
Me = not pretty. Let's all just leave it at that so I don't have to get freaked out.
And apparently I'm a tease as well...who knew.

Leah got me the coolest fucking earrings ever! They have pink guns on them! cute!!!! Thank you, love! ♥

It's the 4th of July. I like to light things on fire. That's all I'll do today.
I need a haircut. Tell me how to get it cut. And make it short.
( Pictures of me and Jizosh. Because...Jordynne...isn't...here. Sniffle. Cry. Sob. )

That's it kids.

God. Two words: Family. Reunion.
I was huddled in a corner most of the time. To these people I am some strange girl, with strange ideas, strange hair and a strange sense of style.
If I wasn't wrangling small children, I was having to deal with old people falling over, and rambling incoherently and having to pretend as if I knew what the hell they were talking about. Did I mention I have a huge fear of old people?
I officially have lost all repsect for my grandmother.
Today I realized that I have never ever heard a single story from my dad about his childhood. Nor have I from my uncle. I know now that it's because they've just blocked that whole amount of time from their memory. I've never known much about my grandmother, or how she raised my Dad and Uncle. Now I have no respect for that woman.
I heard from my great Aunt that my Grandmother would lock my daddy and uncle in closets as punishment. She would beat them. My dad ran away from home one time and hid at my great Aunt's house. My grandmother was controlling. She wouldn't feed them. She wouldn't buy them new clothes.
Besides that she treats my Grandpa like a fucking child. It's enough to make me want to deck her in the face.
Behind that front of a pious, sweet, caring old lady is a cold-hearted, controlling, unloved woman. It's really sad. On top of all this she's rascist, homophobic, completely narrow-minded. sidfjailjsdflijasdfkl. I can't imagine what she would do if I came home with someone like PJ. GASP! Interracial relationships are strictly forbidden. I don't even want to know what she'd say about me being friends with Jordynne, simply because she's not white.
I don't get it. I'm not even going to pretend to have a tiny bit of respect for that woman. I can't do it. Fuck all her ideas and stupid notions. Fuck all of her idiotic rules of how someone should live their life.
I feel sorry for someone with such a warped sense of reality.

This has been a weird day.
I've been with my family pretty much all day. Some extended family has gotten here for a family reunion. They're some of my most despised things, these family reunions. Everyone has been making fun of my "pink" hair and lack of eyebrows.
Jizosh dropped by. What a charming lad. It was nice to see my father after not seeing him for a while. We both are missing Jordynne greatly while she is away. Jizosh made a love connection with my fan, fanny fan, while he was here. Maybe I'll post those pictures if I get really bored, or pained by my family.
Eh. Nothings happened.
Sorry if I don't get a chance to call/ hang out with/ comment on people's journal's like a good friend should. But, everything should be back to normal after the 4th, when all my family has gone back to their respective homes.
Leave me some interesting comments.

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but they keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.

~Bukowski

I don't know why i felt compelled to post that. Loneliness and negativity I suppose.

I hope Leah's not too mad at me. I'm just having a real bitch day.

I hung out with Leah tonight.
We called Z-rock and requested Blue Oyster Cult (Godzillaaaaa!), which they didnt play.
I came up with some story about a girlfriend who was really butch and wore flannel, who happened to be a lumberjack. We were going to use this as reasoning for them to play Godzilla, but the lines were busy. Bastards.
We took risque pictures of one another. They were hawt.
Leah proposed to me. I said yes. Here's the engagement ring.



It probably cost like 2.5 million dollars.

I AM: The Bur
I WANT: A boy
I HAVE: A week old, half-eaten poptart on my desk
I WISH: I could go stay with Lizzy
I HATE: Limp Bizkit
I FEAR: Old people
I HEAR: Nirvana coming from ma speakers
I SEARCH: for the lost city of Atlantis
I WONDER: why I do these stupid things
I REGRET: not murdering my brother while in my youth
I LOVE: YOU
I AM NOT: a genius
I DANCE: to gangsta rap
I SING: quite painfully
I CRY: when I ejaculate. Except I can't.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: telling the truth
I WRITE: alot
I WIN: nothing at all
I LOSE: my mind
I CONFUSE: alot of people
I NEED: a man!
I SHOULD: get a damn life.

My momma dyed my hair, and had a wonderful talk with me about guys, birth control, going to parties and getting drunk, date rape drugs and acorns.
She has created an imaginary child to replace me when I leave. "His" name is Hubert Horatio Wallace. I believe that imaginarily he looks like a walrus. I hate this imaginary child who was created to replace me.
Talked to Jizosh on the phone. He's been listening to Limp Bizkit alot, and the effects of this include compulsively rapping their songs. It's weird.
Leah hates me because I didn't go bra shopping with her today. Psh.
( Here's my new hair )

I shouldn't be allowed to listen to the Smiths anymore.
Too bad Jordynne isn't here to ban me from them.

I already have to start thinking about moving, and getting everything I need for school, and my dorm.
I want to stay at Elizabeth's house for a while. Then maybe I'd get a chance to make a few friends before I move down there...

I don't want to be alone forever.

Damn you Smiths. I'm not listening to you.

Oh my. I'm listening to the Smiths. And this song makes me think of Jordynne. Sniffle. I want her to come back hoooooommmeeee.
Went shopping with Mom. Bought pots & pans, yippee skippee!
I finished my first purse.
I need to get my haircut. Funny thing. Jizosh cut his hair (oh, emoxcore to the max), and how I wanted my hair is very similar to his, except girlier. It'd be odd if we both had almost the same hair. Damnit Josh.
loudlyincognito there, go mock that scenester's haircut.
My phone bill was fucking outrageous, and I don't have money to pay for it (I pouted, and Daddy is paying for all the extra minutes I used..along with the rest of it), SO DON'T CALL ME ON THE CELL UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT LIKE WHOA. Not that I ever answer it anyway.
I need a list of things to take to school with me. How am I supposed to know what I need? I've never lived on my own before.

I have nothing interesting to talk about today. I've sewn and cleaned all day. And now I'm sitting here, wrapped in a blanket and freezing to death.
My makeup has been a source of alot of discussion and ridicule in my house.
xkf'zsdfkskdf;'psdf

( You know who was an attractive young lad? )

I know you all love the pointlessness of my posts.

Brother's newest retort: Yeah, well at least I don't shave off my eyebrows.
My newest response to this: Yeah, sorry I just accidentally stabbed you to death with this really sharp butcher knife.

I wanted to hang out with Leah today. Nobody's called me. No one loves me.

vjksdf;kljfslfdfl;kjsdlfj

I feel so awful.
I'm sleep deprived, can't stop sneezing, nauseous and headachey. What a wonderful feeling.
I stayed up until like 6 AM yesterday talking to PJ.
Ugh. So my parents felt the need to force me out of bed at about noon. I probably got about 4-5 hours of sleep because I couldn't fall asleep after I went to bed. Now I keep trying to nap, and it's just not working. What's wrong with me?
Since I feel like shit I gave myself slightly ( angry eyebrows )

I don't know if I'm going to work on purses today. Maybe if I wake up some/ get to feeling a bit better.

Every time I watch VH1's 100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock it makes me mad. I don't get their order.
How is Korn above Blue Oyster Cult? I fucking ♥ Blue Oyster Cult. But, Korn is better than them? Lately they've become pure suckage. They covered "Word up" for fucks sake.

Rather than just sitting around being pissed and emo, I decided I'd get to work on making those purses from my old t-shirts.
I think they'll turn out really nicely.
So far I've got 3 started, now I just need to sew the peices all together, and add straps. I wondered if any of you all would be interested in some.
( Here's the shirts I used, and what they'll end up looking like )

So I grew a pair and shaved off my practically non-existant/butchered eyebrows. Mum thinks it's weird. Yet another thing we're arguing about.
( They don't look that bad drawn on, do they? )

I'm listening to New Radicals. How very 90's one-hit-wonder of me.

Mum and I are currently going through a bout of fighting. Whether it be about my love of constantly arguing, or if The Bravery is better than The Killers (Which they are. The Killers can go fuck themselves), we are arguing about it. Somebody just come kill me before I do it to myself.
Jordynne and Josh are doing whatever today.
Tanner's and Harrison's bands have a show tonight, which Leah is attending. I am not in the mood for people-mingling and local-band-listening at all, although I do love the aforementioned people greatly.
So, tonight, this lovely Friday evening, I am going to sit at home on my ass and think about how motherfucking angsty I am, and hate life.
If you would like to join me, or rescue me, please give me a call.
THE END

--I just figured out that school starts August 24th. That is too far away. I am ready to move. Now.

Pointless picture post, because I have nothing to talk about. Fandom and randomness.
( Today I wanted to be Gwen Stefani )

I'm going to start sewing. I have so many old band t-shirts I never wear, so I think I'm going to make them into tote bags. Hm. Any other nifty ideas of how to use those stupid t-shirts?

I am vapid, shallow and a waste of space.
All I did today was clean out my closet, light things on fire and play with sparklers. Wasteful.
I feel like I'm being consumed with vanity and material possesions.
I love my friends, but I'm feeling the need to meet new people too.
I wish there was some way to mix things up from doing the same pointless things day after day.
I need some books to read and something productive to do. Preferably that doesn't involve me sucking at life.

Summer makes me feel as if my life is pointless. There's too much free time.

Well, at least I was never a Power Ranger. Power Rangers blow.

I love Jordynne and Jizosh!
I got to spend the day with my bestest buddies. Here is our day, ( told in pictures! )


Dude. That was a fuckload of pictures to upload. I hope those were enjoyable. It was an enjoyable evening, Jordynne and I nearly peed ourselves several time from laughter. Emphasis on nearly.

Josh. Please don't hate me for putting these on here. I had to. I had to. You know you love me. I'm the best daughter EVER. I love you! Even if you pull your pants up your ass...
Jordynne- Don't leave me! I'll die without you. I'll listen to the Smiths and slit my wrists.

Leah lost the My Little Pony Kristina gave me for my birthday the day that we met Sewer Kid. (Side note: I miss Sewer Kid. He was a badass)
I mourned it's death.
BUT:
I JUST FOUND IT IN THE BACKYARD. My Little Pony LIVES!

She's now safe in my room.
Why do they have a magnet on the foot of the ponies? I don't get it.

...I hope I get to see Jordynne and Jizosh tomorrow, or I'm really going to lose my mind.

Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight...do it for brave My Little Pony.

I think my dad is drunk. It's weird.
I went shopping with meine mutti, and got some manic panic dye for when I redye my hair. Hot hot pink. I'm excited.
The lady in Sally's stared at me hardcore. Like, for a long time.
And other people in Meijer's stared at me.
Hardcore.
( I'm not that weird looking, am I? )

Who knows what I'm going to do tonight. I have to get up motherfucking early tomorrow because someone's coming to clean the carpet. dubya tee eff.